A Simple Plan

I noticed something while driving home the other day. I will have to paint the picture in order for the following story to make more sense.

I think you officially, at least in part, become old when you start saying things like "those kids need to slow down, this highway isn't a race track." I can remember the first time my dad said something along those lines about the road in front of our house.

Most kids are not drag racing down the highway at 189 MPH. Odds are, they just want to open up all four cylinders on their 1986 4 door Ford Tempo and see if when they jam it into 5th, and accelerate up to 88 MPH, if they flash, smoke, and transport back to 1955.

Back to what I was saying. Now, we all have no doubt "slammed on the brakes" when we see a police car sitting on the side of the road or roll by us in the other lane. I have to say I am guilty of this if I am in fact speeding. However, the person that hits their brakes everytime they see a cop car, whether they are speeding or not, should no longer be allowed to drive. Why??!!! Would you hit the brakes if you are driving the speed limit??!! I have never understood this. But, I digress, which reminds me of a time.....

So, upon driving home the other day, I was doing a little speeding, and saw a cop car and of course hit my brakes to lower my speed to a more acceptable level. Upon approaching the car, I realized it was not a police car, but a 80+ year old man and his wife driving a white Crown Victoria. To add to the list of things I do no understand...why do so many old people drive a Crown Victoria? Was there some commercial in 1958 that held the Crown up as the one deciding factor to know if you had a successful career?

Cheesy TV Voice : " You have had a great career, now you are retired...what comes next?.... show everyone how much your hard work paid off by redefining your new life in the stylish luxury of a Ford Crown Victoria...the Crown Jewel of the the Ford Motor Fleet. "

Now I have nothing against this vehicle...just can't understand the fascination of them with the geriatric crowd.

Point being....if every old person would buy a Crown Vic (street name), We wouldn't even need highway patrolmen anymore to give speeding tickets, because the highways would be a cacophony of screeching tires and worn brakes due to everyone slamming their brakes everytime " Grandpa Law" meandered by at a cool 52 MPH...which from my observation, must be the top speed of a stock Crown Vic.

Vitamin C