And it continues....

Doodle,

I got your sports listing, you have some good ones, ( see comment section) and will give a full break down in the future. Barrel racing is boring, so I don't care what the crowd does or what you want to call it. GSP team 2 soccer was the pinnacle of what a true sports team is, thereby making soccer a sport if for no other reason than that.

Kelby, your theory has been reviewed and approved. The committee will also recognize sex as a sport. Furthermore, the committee would like to consider "angry sex" an extreme sport....kind of like bullfighting.

Steak

More sports commentary

Brandon,

I agree, golf is extremely hard (although you are one of the few people I have played a round with, and you know I pretty much mastered it by the fourth hole) , and Tiger is an athlete. However, I regret to inform you, that upon further review, tennis is still not a sport and swimming was ruled out due to the shaving of body hair by males.

Comments Appreciated

I appreciate the comments about the sports posting. A couple of things in reply. Brandon, I did allow that Ping Pong was a sport, the crowds are not typically quiet for that. While tennis certainly takes great stamina, physical conditioning and athleticism, it is not a sport because the crowd has to be quiet. Doodle, the gallon challenge falls into the awesome category, kind of the opposite of cheerleading, which is boring. Neil, I like your argument. The problem is, you now have to develop a universally accepted definition of what athletic prowess is. It also allows anything where two people are competing to be a sport, such as hot dog eating, playing video games, fighting for the arm rest at the movie theater, looking for a parking space in a croweded parking lot just to name a few. That is fine, I just refuse to accept "gaming" as a sport. Also assuming that in some of those cases, the people engaged have the new universally accepted definition of what athletic prowess is. The spectators and their collective actions have to be accounted for, otherwise, I don't think this discussion would even be neccessary. I guess it depends on if you believe whether the tree that falls in the woods makes a sound or not. Mindi, you obviously didn't read the post if you have to ask that question.

Lastly, all I really care about is that no one tried to tell me how golf is a sport, which was the real point of the whole post.

The Results are In

Thanks to those who voted. The results are that Kenny Chesney is the biggest hack in country music today.

Thanks for playing.

C

Sport VS. Recreational Activity

Those of you who know me, know that I refuse to recognize golf as a sport. It is merely a recreational activity. I know what some of you are already thinking, because I have heard it before.... " Tiger Woods is truly an athlete, he is in great shape and bench presses 400lbs., blah, blah, blah." First off, he is the ONLY golfer that is in that kind of shape. Secondly, that doesn't make golf a sport. If that were the only criteria, then perhaps it is also a sport when Tiger Woods takes out the trash. Heck, it must be a sport anytime someone of athletic prowess takes out the trash if that is the argument being used.

I came up with a theory as to what is a sport and what isn't. It went something like this. Anytime you are in direct physical confiict with an opposing person or animal, that would make it a sport, as long as it applied to something people would at least historically consider to be a sport. In other words, when someone or something else is trying to keep you from accomplishing whatever it is you need to accomplish to win. This theory works great, until you consider track and field competitions, one of the oldest sports around. Sure, you are racing against other people or trying to throw the shot put farther, but they don't get to trip you or grab your arm while you are trying to beat them. Therefore, it doesn't follow the theory.

I have caught some golf and tennis over the past couple of weeks ( as you sometimes do when you only have two television channels). That is where I discovered what truly keeps something from being a sport. The fact that the audience ( after all, recreational activities don't have crowds) has to remain quiet when golfers and tennis players are hitting. Huh? You want to call this a sport, but people have to be quiet at the most critical moments? Seriously? This has to be the clincher for what is and isn't a sport, even more than the first criteria mentioned above.

The whole crowd doesn't have to get quiet when a baseball player is trying to hit the ball, or when a quarterback is throwing a pass, or when sprinters are racing to the finish line, or when a basketball player is shooting a free throw. I just don't get it. It can't possibly be a sport when the audience is supposed to quiet and reserved. No way, no how, period. So, by combining the two theories, it is easy to see what is a sport and what is a recreational activity. It must satisfy both of these criteria to be considered a sport, and not just a recreational activity. Track and Field gets somewhat of a bye due to historical significance and the fact that criteria two carries more weight. It doesn't mean that you can call anything a sport, just because it satisfies the two criteria, I guess you can, but that makes you a moron. Me throwing firecrackers at a spiderman poster while someone tries to block them and three people scream does not constitute a sport. It does not satisfy the first criteria, because that has not historically been considered a sport. New sports to be added to the list will have to stand the test of time in being considered a sport before they are even allowed to be considered against the aforementioned criteria. So, what we have based on that are as follows. ....

Swimming: RA Basketball: Sport
Diving: RA Football: Sport
Golf: RA Baseball: Sport
Tennis: RA Soccer: Sport
Cheerleading: Boring Nascar: Sport ( I said it)
Figure Skating: RA Ping Pong : Sport
Dancing: RA Volleyball: Sport
X-Games: RA Dodgeball: Sport
Mini Golf : RA Mini Golf with "prison rules" : Sport
Bowling: RA Bullriding: Sport

That is the list for now. Please feel free to add any you can think of, or dispute my claims. However, if I don't agree, I just won't publish you comment....fascism...not a sport.

C

An addenum to Kelby's mortgage post

Most of my readers probably see Kelby's blog, if not, they should check it out. This post is, well, an addenum to his most recent post, which can be found here. www.westtexasconservative.blogspot.com

One thing that should be pointed out, is that with this scenario, which is the best way to go, there will be 2 months out of the year where you actually make 3 payments instead of 2. For example on the 3rd, 17th, and 31st of a given month. Those 2 extra payments are what builds a very large chunk of that extra equity, as they should be roughly 100% principle and no interest. This usually isn't an issue, since you will also get paid 3 times a month for 2 months out of the year if you are paid every 2 weeks. If these two month don't coincide, make sure you keep that extra money aside when you have to make 3 mortgage payments in one month.

You also have to make sure your lender doesn't put this extra cash in some sort of holding account, which they sometimes do. They sometimes will not apply it to your principle unless specifically instructed to do so, so when they get that extra payment twice a year, they put it into this other account and it just sits there, which doesn't help you out much at all. The program Kelby is speaking of may do this for you automatically , I am not sure.

C

The Video

Truck, the video is supposed to be funny, not serious. Perhaps you missed the caption.

Wall Street Traders find the best party in NYC

I really can't believe this video. As in I can't believe these guys are for real. Sadly I think they are. I can't stop laughing at this video. I can't remember the last time I ran into tools like these guys, maybe never.

Mowing the grass and taking names

So yesterday I decided to mow the grass. It was getting a little unruly, and I am planning on leaving town this weekend, so I didn't want it to get out of hand over the weekend. I was afraid that my Wal-Mart mower would not be able to handle the grass if it grew much more. So I started to mow. I was mowing in the back yard when my neighbor that lives behind me approached me. So, I killed the mower and began talking with him. He apologized for being a bad neighbor and not introducing himself sooner, which of course was no problem.

He is 83 years old and a very enjoyable fellow. We spent 20 or so mintues talking about his wife, garden, his cancer, his stroke, his Japanese doctors who he "wasn't too sure about at first, because I lived in Japan". He also informed me that he would like to cut a branch out of my tree, because it was broken and he didn't want it to fall on my head when I was mowing, which I thought was nice. I examined the branch, and it was not broken, only a branch with a knot in it that makes it bend downward, however, I could tell he was very much excited about the prospect of this, so I gladly consented. Anyway, here is what struck me about the coversation....

I don't know what age this happens at, but at some point, it seems that you have to end all sentences with "see", because this is what he kept doing, and this is not limited to just him. I have encountered countless old people who like to end their sentence with "see".

" My neighbor wanted me to help him plow his garden, he is 86....see"
" I had a stroke about 4 years ago, and my brain was screwed up, so my strength was gone too, did you know that?, if your brain is screwed up you don't have any strength.....see"
" My wife told me I better come and meet you before I cut that tree limb down...see"
" The guy that used to live in this house was a full blooded indian...he was from Oklahoma....see"
" I tried to go and visit him once, but I got lost...see....I wil have to go back and try to find his house."
" When I had my stroke, I would get lost real easylike see, I had to stay at home for 7 or 8 months because if I left, I would get lost and couldn't get back home .....see"
" If I was 75, and felt as good as I do now, I would go and put me in an application at Wal-Mart down there see, and look at me, I am going good nowadays, but if I felt like that when I was 75, I would go down there and get a job and put those things on the shelf see.....I am real strong now since I started taking flax seed oil....see...that is how they treat cancer in Canada see."
" I am not going to get another job, because I want to live a long time, so I just work around here see."

The last comment was followed by him putting his wheelbarrow under my tree and standing in it, as it wobbled to beat the band while he cut that limb down. I was on my way to stabilize it for him when I turned around and saw him in that very precarious position, but apparently not as precarious as stocking shelves at Wal-Mart, but he was already done...and looked very satisfied for it.....C

A Response

To Mindi: If orange money is used, you only get orange money in return. When was the last time you didn't get change back when you used green money. Same idea, if the store doesn't have it, then they say " I can't make change for that, sorry." It will work, trust me.

To Toddi: So very good to hear from you. I hope things are well. I still plan on returning to the Go Away ranch one day for a stay. I told Bill as much at Kelby's rehearsal dinner (what a great time by the way) and his reply was " I dare you.", which sounds like an invite to me. I don't know when it will be, but I will be back that way someday. Me and the wife to be are planning on moving back to Texas somewhere, we don't know exactly where yet..I would like Amarillo, but that got an absolute executive veto from the missus...she has two more years of residency in Oklahoma City, and I may possibly try to get into an OMS residency, I will just have to see how that plays out. Rural Missouri is a very interesting place but I like it....and on that note...my story for the day.

I recently found out, that in the state of Missouri, it is still legal to brew your own moonshine or stump whiskey. What is stump whiskey you ask? Well it is like this. Someone says, " I know a place where you can put twenty dollars in an old stump, and the next day some "stump whiskey" will show up. So you just have to find said stump ( they can tell you where it is) and put in your money there and the next day you go back and magically some stump whiskey has appeared. I have not found this magical stump, but I have tried some stump whiskey, and the words stout and firey come to mind. Although you can't sell your moonshine, it is perfectly legal to concoct a certain amount of home brew for your own personal use...now if I could just find a distillation kit somewhere.

C

Mad Money

I was talking to my buddy Chris last night...the one that lives in Texas, not Missouri. Me and Chris like to talk about all kinds of things...mainly he tells me how boring being married is, and I tell him how totally awesome ( I actually use that phrase) being not married is, and that I am thinking about backing out of my wedding and moving to Australia...assuming the women there shave, which I think they do.

We often like to solve all of the worlds problems when time permits and his baby, allows us to do so. So I got to thinking last night, that we should have different colored money for people that receive any state or federal subsidies, or "welfare" if you will. What is the purpose of this different colored money you ask? Simple really. The money would look exactly the same as our current money, only it would be orange or red or something like that, instead of green. The colored money would have the exact some monetary value as the green money we currently use....and here is where the problem gets fixed. The colored money, we will call it orange from here on out, for the sake of brevity and carpal tunnel risks. The orange money could be used as current money with one exception...it would not be accepted for the purchase of tobacco, alcohol, or firearms. That's it, that is the only difference. It works just like regular money, only no booze, tobaccoo or guns can be purchased using it.

I know you are thinking, what if they just put the check in the bank and then withdraw the cash? Well, most of these people don't have a bank account anyway, because they live on a strictly cash basis, as in, wait for the check on the first of the month. Furthermore, it would be very easy to have the bank separate the two accounts within the one account and have available funds categorized as "subsidies" or not. It wouldn't be that hard. If someone deposits orange cash or a govt. check, they get orange cash back.

To further allow this to happen, you will also no longer be able to buy tobacco, alcohol or firearms with personal check or credit cards. It will have to be cash only...the green kind. This will create some inconveniences, but a small price to pay to not have to watch someone buy booze and cigarettes with my tax dollars.

I am sure some of the welfare geniuses will decide to trade an orange twenty for a green five, so they can buy their alcolhol. Fine by me, this should be perfectly legal...because that way, I get fifteen of my tax dollars back that don't get wasted on cigarettes, so if the guy can't smoke as much, maybe in 15 years I won't be paying for him to have an oxygen tank he can lug around or the medications to treat his emphysema that my tax dollars gave him.....so hopefully he won't sue me for buying him cigarettes and indirectly being responsible for his "medical " problems.

People should be able to drink and smoke all they want. People can make that decision for themselves...none of my business. But they should have to pay for that themselves.

Shopping for groceries

I usually go to the grocery store 2 times a month, because I hate going so I try to buy enough to last me at least two weeks, which always results in me over -buying pretty regularly. I recently read somewhere, that the average American throws away $600 worth of food each year. When you think about it, that is A LOT of food, even with the current prices...for myself, that is roughly 4-6 months of food. I know I don't throw away near that much, because I only spend a little more than twice that for groceries for the whole year, but I do throw away some. You know how it is, you just let food sit until it spoils, because you just don't really want to eat it. Or you just keep collecting canned goods and boxed food and the old gets pushed to the back and keeps multiplying.

In light of this, about two months ago, I decided to try to cease and desist on my throwing away food, both for the money reason, and because it doesn't seem right, almost criminal, to throw away food while people are starving, even here in America; simply because I let something spoil because it doesn't sound appetizing, or because I buy too much at the store and the old gets pushed back to the back of the shelf. I have made a concerted effort to have all perishables consumed, and many of my canned goods and boxes of food eaten before I go back to the store for more. This had led to some interesting and delicious foods, and some not so much so.

This has also allowed me to not accumulate comestibles at a rate beyond which they can be consumed. It also keeps me from buying too much of the same thing, because I know I will have to try and eat all of it.