Mad Money

I was talking to my buddy Chris last night...the one that lives in Texas, not Missouri. Me and Chris like to talk about all kinds of things...mainly he tells me how boring being married is, and I tell him how totally awesome ( I actually use that phrase) being not married is, and that I am thinking about backing out of my wedding and moving to Australia...assuming the women there shave, which I think they do.

We often like to solve all of the worlds problems when time permits and his baby, allows us to do so. So I got to thinking last night, that we should have different colored money for people that receive any state or federal subsidies, or "welfare" if you will. What is the purpose of this different colored money you ask? Simple really. The money would look exactly the same as our current money, only it would be orange or red or something like that, instead of green. The colored money would have the exact some monetary value as the green money we currently use....and here is where the problem gets fixed. The colored money, we will call it orange from here on out, for the sake of brevity and carpal tunnel risks. The orange money could be used as current money with one exception...it would not be accepted for the purchase of tobacco, alcohol, or firearms. That's it, that is the only difference. It works just like regular money, only no booze, tobaccoo or guns can be purchased using it.

I know you are thinking, what if they just put the check in the bank and then withdraw the cash? Well, most of these people don't have a bank account anyway, because they live on a strictly cash basis, as in, wait for the check on the first of the month. Furthermore, it would be very easy to have the bank separate the two accounts within the one account and have available funds categorized as "subsidies" or not. It wouldn't be that hard. If someone deposits orange cash or a govt. check, they get orange cash back.

To further allow this to happen, you will also no longer be able to buy tobacco, alcohol or firearms with personal check or credit cards. It will have to be cash only...the green kind. This will create some inconveniences, but a small price to pay to not have to watch someone buy booze and cigarettes with my tax dollars.

I am sure some of the welfare geniuses will decide to trade an orange twenty for a green five, so they can buy their alcolhol. Fine by me, this should be perfectly legal...because that way, I get fifteen of my tax dollars back that don't get wasted on cigarettes, so if the guy can't smoke as much, maybe in 15 years I won't be paying for him to have an oxygen tank he can lug around or the medications to treat his emphysema that my tax dollars gave him.....so hopefully he won't sue me for buying him cigarettes and indirectly being responsible for his "medical " problems.

People should be able to drink and smoke all they want. People can make that decision for themselves...none of my business. But they should have to pay for that themselves.