BeefSteak...aka...The Steak

I feel it necassary and appropriate to unravel the profile heading of The Steak. Where did the name come from? How does someone get such a cool nickname? Why don't I have a sweet nickname like that? Why BeefSteak or The Steak and why not somehting like Kid Dynamite or Ole Baby Leatherface? So let me begin to deploy the explanation of the man, the myth, the legend that is the BeefSteak. Most self-appointed nicknames ultimately fail due to some attempt to make one's self seem way more sweet and awesome than they actually are. Therefore, as a friend to that person, one is obliged to dismantle this nickname with ridicule and unmerciful attempts to embarrass them in front of women. Many self appointed nicknames are usually something uber-gay like "Diesel", "Tank", or "Tiny". These are all good and fine, and even somewhat manly, but only acceptable to give yourself if you are a four year-old girl. But every once in awhile, someone gives themself a nickname that is so undeniably sweet and genius at the same time, that the earth takes a moment to stop spinning and give a tip of the hat to it. On a day when time stood still, I decided that I should have the nickname BeefSteak, and The Steak is also acceptable, if you are really busy, and need to save paper by using less letters. It was decided by all who were within earshot, and didn't immediately spontaneously combust from the atomic greatness of the whole ordeal, agreed that never a more superb nickname had been given to one's self. So, before you decide to give yourself a nickname, take time to reflect on it, decide if you have the cajones to step up to the plate and throw down one as sublime as BeefSteak. If the answer is no, then save yourself the pain of getting stuck with a gay nickname and a plummet of both man and cool points. If the answer is yes, I can give myself a nickname that is as good or better than that, then you are obviously a liar and delusional. Until then, the BeefSteak will sit atop his throne of pseudonyms, with a cigar in one hand, and scepter made of solid Steak in the other, sipping the nectar of the Gods from a chalice made of lightning and thunder.

Next Blog - Big jacked up 4X4 trucks and the morons that drive them.

Until Then....Light Fuse and Get Away...but whatever you do, don't Panic.

BeefSteak